“Marriage is not a static state between two unchanging people. Marriage is a psychological and spiritual journey that begins in the ecstasy of attraction, meanders through a rocky stretch of self-discovery, and culminates in the creation of an intimate, joyful, lifelong union”
Reading this book, I finally realize, I am not weird, I am not crazy, I am just normally broken, like everyone else.
And it’s a huge relieve.
Seriously, all my fights, all my problems with my boyfriends suddenly make sense. It happens to others too. In fact it happens to everyone. Most people just get stuck at the stage of power struggle of the relationship, some for life time.
And it doesn’t have to be that way.
I knew for a while now, that relationship require some work to be done. But I never knew what exactly to do, how to break the evil stage of “nothing is good enough”. And truly at some point I almost have given up. I’ve learned to live a good life as loner. And I thought, that’s OK. If I seem to be unable to build something valid, I prefer it that way. Better be happy alone, then miserable together. Been there, done that, not for me.
That have worked fine until I actually have fallen in love. Truly with fireworks, talks, connection and sex, that feels more like spiritual journey, than just physical act. And I started getting glimpses of believe, I want this one to work out, I want this one to last. But of course it didn’t. Just like the rest of them. But it was good enough for me realize, that if I really want to grow, there are places I can’t enter alone. It’s richer and more fulfilling together. I want that together thing. suddenly when I lost it, I realized how important this is for me. The togetherness.
And then I started searching. What should do, how can I fix me? And I came across this book. And it’s was like a breath of fresh air. It’s not going to be easy, and some things I can’t solve on my own, I need an actual partner for that. This made me dreaming about me and my ex sitting and working through the exercises together.
But I do respect the no.
And although it took me rather long time to get here, but I believe, I can be happy, I will be happy, and I am ready to meet someone to grow old and wise with.